It’s so weird. Since moving back to the States, I’ve felt like I am still waiting for my life to begin. Everything has a vaguely unreal patina over it. Maybe somewhere in the back of my brain I still don’t believe we’re here and I am still waiting for my “real” life.

Or maybe after 4 years of living in Japan where I always knew that my current life wasn’t permanent and didn’t have to take things seriously, that the habit of feeling removed from everyday life is ingrained and I can’t get over it.

Yes, I know I am still in transition. Yes, I know we will probably move again and that is probably where this disconnected feeling comes from. But still, I’ve waited for so long for a home. I can’t help wishing I could just go ahead and feel like an oregonian already.

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