My friend Duffiemoon just wrote an entry in her journal about how she’s experiencing the whole “I’m a mommy now so how do I interact with my pre-mommy friends who don’t have kids themselves”.
It made me think about my own situation. I got to miss out on that because 5 months after Mia was born, we moved to Japan. Consequently, everyone I became friends with since then in Chiba, Tokyo, and Portland have only known the mommy me as opposed to the non-mommy me. As you tend to make friends in new places with other mommies/daddies, it hasn’t been that much of an issue with my life.
However, I am experiencing a little cognitive dissonance with my writing group pals. I carpool to Eugene (about 1 and half hours) with these two other guys who are married but do not have children. They have only interacted with me outside of my family, they hadn’t even met Naoto or the girls until just recently.
I find myself at a loss sometimes. I am so used to being a mommy, and carrying a diaper bag, and being treated as a mommy, that it is strange to NOT be with people who don’t have kids and have never met mine. I have to scrounge around for topics of conversation (hour and a half each way, folks, we need lots of conversation).
Sometimes on those nights I feel like I’m channeling the pre-Mia kirsten. I don’t feel like her, I don’t really remember her very well, I can’t imagine how she filled all the hours of the day without having to worry about what to play, what to feed, or how to occupy two girls, but she is hanging around there somewhere.
It’s very strange.