There are currently two vampire/romance projects I don’t like.

Book: Mr Darcy, Vampyre

Just…don’t. Just, please don’t.

Besides the incontradictable point that Darcy goes out in the daylight…. Part of what makes the magic of Pride and Prejudice and why we love Darcy and Elizabeth so much is their fallible humanity. They are both wrong, regret it, and then go about with their hearts on their sleeve (albeit restrained hearts).

And don’t mess with my Austen. That’s all I’m saying.

Show: the CW show, Vampire Diaries

This show could have been all about the win. I was not impressed by the first episode (so you know it wasn’t good if it didn’t even hook easy vampire/romance lover fish like me).

First of all: too much too soon! Don’t show us the vampire holding the old photograph with the heroine’s face on it TWICE in the FIRST show. Heard of suspense? It’s good, the writers should look into it.

Second of all: Way to go on the stereotyping for the two vampire brothers. Square-jawed, blondish brother is the good one (really? why did that seem like a good choice? I mean, he had like no chemistry at all. All the chemistry was on the girl lead’s side, and she had to really turn it on to make for the lack on his side.) The bad brother is all dark and snarky. Wouldn’t it have been more interesting (and made the whole, “ooh, are the killings being done by the good brother?” suspicion more believable) to have cast that character as dark and snarky and have the bad guy make us uncomfortable by being evil and mean with the Captain America face?

Anyway, just to prove that I don’t, indeed, like EVERTHING vampire, here are two projects that even I couldn’t quite stomach.